Al Shall Be Wele

Chapter 15, "He kepyth us even alike sekir in wo and in wele...both is one love"

“He kepyth us even alike sekir in wo and in wele...both is one love”

In Chapter 15 Julian shares her seventh showing. In this showing Julian experiences her soul moving back and forth between consolation and desolation. Twenty times this happens, as she numbers them. And the point of the showing is that God holds the soul in love no matter its season and state. It’s a lovely and profound reflection worth sharing in full.

Here is Chapter 15 in the Middle English:

And after this He shewid a soveren gostly lekyng in my soule. I was fulfillid of the everlesting sekirnes migtily susteinid withoute any peynful drede. This felyng was so gladd and so gostly that I was in al peace and in reste, that there was nothing in erth that should a grevid me. This lestenid but a while, and I was turnyd and left to myselfe in hevynes and werines of my life and irkenes of myselfe that onethis I coude have patience to leve. There was no comfort nor none ease to me, but feith, hope, and charite. And these I had in truthe, but litil in feling. And anone after this our blissid Lord gave me ageyne the comfort and the rest in soule in likyng and sekirnes so blisful and so mycti, that no drede, no sorow, ne peyne bodily that might be suffrid, should have desesid me. And than the peyne shewid ageyn to my feling, and than the joy and the lekyng, and now that one, and now that other, dyvers tymes, I suppose aboute twenty tymes. And in the same tyme of joy I migte have seid with Seynt Paul, nothing shal depart me from the charite of Criste. And in the peyne I migte have seid with Peter, Lord save me, I perish.

This vision was shewid me after myn understondyng that it is spedeful to some soulis to fele on this wise, somtime to be in comfort, and somtyme to faile and to be left to hemselfe. God wille we knowen that He kepyth us even alike sekir in wo and in wele. And for profitt of manys soule, a man is sumtyme left to himselfe, althowe synne is not ever the cause. For in this tyme I synned not wherfore I shulde be left to myselfe, for it was so soden. Also I deservyd not to have this blissid felyng. But frely our Lord gevyth whan He wille, and suffrith us in wo sumtyme, and both is one love. For it is Godds wil we hold us in comfort with al our migte for blisse is lestinge without ende, and peyne is passand and shal be browte to nougte to hem that shall be savyd. And therefore it is not Godds will that we folow the felynge of peyne in sorow and mornyng for hem, but sodenly passing over and holden us in endless likyng.

Translation:

And after this He showed a sovereign spiritual delight in my soul. I was filled with the everlasting security, mightily sustained without any painful fear. This feeling was so glad and so spiritual that I was all in peace and in rest, so that there was nothing on earth that should have grieved me. This lasted but a while, and I was turned and left to myself in heaviness and weariness of my life and loathing of myself, so that scarcely I could have patience to live. There was no comfort nor any ease for me, but faith, hope, and charity. And these I had in truth, but little in feeling.

And immediately after this our blessed Lord gave me again the comfort and the rest in soul, in delight and security, so blissful and so mighty that no fear, no sorrow, nor bodily pain that might be suffered should have distressed me. And then the pain showed again to my feeling, and then the joy and the delight, and now the one, and now the other, at different times, I suppose about twenty times. And in the same time of joy I might have said with Saint Paul, “Nothing shall separate me from the charity of Christ.” And in the pain I might have said with Peter, “Lord, save me, I perish.”

This vision was shown to me according to my understanding, that it is needful for some souls to feel in this way, sometimes to be in comfort, and sometimes to fail and to be left to themselves. God wills that we know that He keeps us equally secure in woe and in well-being. And for the profit of many a soul, a person is sometimes left to himself, although sin is not always the cause. For at this time I sinned not whereby I should be left to myself, for it was so sudden. Also I deserved not to have this blessed feeling. But freely our Lord gives when He wills, and permits us to be in woe sometimes, and both are one love. For it is God’s will that we hold ourselves in comfort with all our might, for bliss is lasting without end, and pain is passing and shall be brought to nothing for those who shall be saved. And therefore it is not God’s will that we follow the feeling of pain in sorrow and mourning because of it, but rather suddenly pass over it and hold ourselves in endless delight.

A long passage, but worth reading in full, for it shares a profound spiritual insight.

Sometimes our lives are filled with joy, peace, and conviction. So much so that, as Julian says, there is nothing on earth that could grieve us. But then we fall into seasons of darkness and desolation. We are “left to ourselves,” and life becomes full of heaviness, weariness, and pain. So much so that, as Julian says, we scarcely have patience to live. During these times we hold on to faith, hope, and love as truths, but with little feeling.

In short, our spiritual lives are variable and seasonal. In her showing, Julian experiences these reversals in quick succession, back and forth, back and forth, about twenty times, she says. The swinging to and fro reveals the heart of the showing: God’s love holds us equally secure in both our woe and our well-being. Each season “both is one love.” Our experiences are variable and inconstant. Our spiritual lives are not a steady state. Sometimes we experience intimacy and bliss. At other times we are left to ourselves in pain and desolation. And yet God’s love remains constant, and we are ever held secure and safe.

So never believe that your desolation, weariness, and pain are reliable information about the love or nearness of God. While you may feel abandoned and alone, you are not. God keeps us equally secure in both our woe and our well-being.

Both are one in love.