Psalm 11

"his gaze examines everyone" 

This translation comes from the CSB. The KJV-family tree of translations translates this more literally and idiomatically. For example, the RSV translates this line from Psalm 11.4 as: 

"his eyes behold, his eyelids test, the children of men" 

I'll admit that the vigilant and scrutinizing watchfulness of God is a sobering, even terrifying, thought. Jana still has anxious memories of a song she was raised with as a child, a verse of which went:

Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do,
Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do.
There's a Father up above who is looking down in love,
Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do.

Jana felt that the "be careful" warning paired with God "looking down in love" sent some very mixed messages.

So, I understand reluctance to lean into "his gaze examines everyone" and "his eyelids try the children of men." And yet, as regular readers know, I don't like to "deconstruct," water down, or avoid these moments in Scripture. I drink my whiskey neat. As I've shared before, I got too much Bob Dylan and Flannery O'Connor in me to want to skip over the apocalyptic parts of the Bible. When the Bible terrifies me I don't run away, I lean in. 

Here's the deal--and I expect a lot of people might disagree with me about this--but either nothing matters or everything matters. I think everything matters. Everything. The big stuff and the small stuff. Every second of my life is lived under the gaze of eternity. 

And while there is exposure and judgment in this gaze, where my days are weighed in a balance, my life is imbued with pathos, drama, and significance. How I treat you, that matters. How I treat Jana, that matters. Stupid stuff I say, that matters. It all matters. Eternity is watching. 

I don't know how you feel about your life, but my life is existentially weighty. I am sitting up and taking notice. I am awake. The Greeks had their carpe diem. Some have karma. I have the Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, whose gaze searches out and tries the children of earth. However you slice that metaphysical cheese, for my part, I'd rather live a weighty, significant life than with the alternative.