The other day I began to reread The Stream & the Sapphire: Selected Poems on Religious Themes, the short collection of poems by Denise Levertov that traces her spiritual journey from doubt to her conversion to Christianity.
The very first poem in the collection "Human Being" interrupted me. The poem captures so much of the tensions of religious experience in a secular age, tensions I highlight in Hunting Magic Eels. These are tensions Levertov wrestled with, as have I, especially during my long season of doubt and deconstruction.
Given all this, I thought I'd do a series giving "Human Being" a close reading. By no means will I try to "explain" the poem to you. I simply want to share how I think the poem captures our experience of God in those spaces between faith and doubt, spaces particularly diagnostic of secularity and modernity. In that sense, this series is less about poetry and more about the phenomenology of religious experience in our increasingly post-Christian culture.
To get us started, you need to read the poem. Here is "Human Being" by Denise Levertov:
“Human Being”
Human being—walking
in doubt from childhood on: walking
a ledge of slippery stone in the world’s woods
deep-layered with set leaves—rich or sad: on one
side of the path, ecstasy, on the other
dull grief. Walking
the mind’s imperial cities, roofed-over alleys,
thoroughfares, wide boulevards
that hold evening primrose of sky in steady calipers.
Always the mind
walking, working, stopping sometimes to kneel
in awe of beauty, sometimes leaping, filled with the energy
of delight, but never able to pass
the wall, the wall
of brick that crumbles and is replaced,
of twisted iron,
of rock,
the wall that speaks, saying monotonously:
Children and animals
who cannot learn
anything from suffering
suffer, are tortured, die
in incomprehension.
The human being, each night nevertheless
summoning—with a breath blown at a flame,
or hand’s touch
on the lamp-switch—darkness,
silently utters,
impelled as if by a need to cup the palms
and drink from a river,
the words, 'Thanks.
Thanks for this day, a day of my life.'
And wonders.
Pulls up the blankets, looking
into nowhere, always in doubt.
And takes strange pleasure
in having repeated once more the childish formula,
a pleasure in what is seemly.
And drifts to sleep, downstream
on murmuring currents of doubt and praise,
the wall shadowy, that tomorrow
will cast its own familiar, chill, clear-cut shadow
into the day’s brilliance.
I'm excited you are written reflections on this poem. Looking forward to more.
Title: In the Depths of Doubt
Yvon Roustan ©
🌿 Wandering through life’s maze, unseen
In woods dense and deep, boundless and green,
On the path of existence, winding through,
Whispers of fallen leaves, tales old and new.
🍂 Elation on one side, sorrow next in line,
Each step a dance with the unknown, intertwined,
In the cities of thought, bustling and wild,
Exploring alleys of the mind, meek and mild.
🌆 Twilight primrose, sky held in embrace,
Vivid lights paint dreams in urban space,
Journeying on in awe and repose,
In homage to wonders only the heart knows.
🌌 Walls crumble, barriers stand tall,
Echoes of decree, a somber call,
Yet in the night, whispers of gratitude bloom,
Touch of solace in the dark’s quiet room.
🌙 Cupping hands, drinking from invisible streams,
Murmuring prayers in the realm of dreams,
Thankful for this day’s profound light,
Found in infinite shadows of night.
🛌 Tucked under covers, gazing into the deep,
In doubt’s embrace, finding restful sleep,
Softly repeating childhood rhyme’s chime,
Comfort derived in rhythm and time.
🌊 Carried by currents of doubt in the stream,
Threads of gratitude’s soft gleam,
In the new day’s brightness, crystal and clear,
Doubt and light intertwine, ever near.
******************************^*****
Explanation:
The poem "In the Depths of Doubt" by Yvon Roustan explores the speaker's spiritual journey from doubt to his conversion to Christianity through various stages of introspection and contemplation.
In the initial stanzas, the speaker is depicted as wandering through the complexities of life, encountering a mix of emotions and thoughts symbolized by elation and sorrow. This journey through the "woods dense and deep" and the "cities of thought" represents a period of questioning and exploration, where the speaker is striving to make sense of his existence.
As the poem progresses, moments of awe and gratitude begin to emerge amidst the doubts and uncertainties. The speaker finds solace in whispers of gratitude blooming in the darkness, and in the soft gleam of gratitude touching him amidst the currents of doubt. These moments hint at a gradual shift towards a spiritual awakening, where the speaker starts finding comfort and peace in acknowledging the presence of something greater than himself.
The final stanzas reflect a sense of acceptance and surrender to a higher power. Finding solace in dreams, seeking comfort in childhood rhymes, and embracing doubt as a source of restful sleep all point towards a growing sense of trust and faith. The intertwining of doubt and light in the clear brightness of a new day signifies a harmonious blending of skepticism and belief, leading the speaker towards a newfound understanding and connection with spirituality.
Ultimately, the poem captures the speaker's spiritual evolution from a place of doubt and questioning to a state of acceptance and gratitude, culminating in his embrace of Christianity as a source of light and comfort in the face of life's complexities. The journey portrayed in the poem highlights the transformative power of faith and the ability to find peace and clarity amidst the uncertainties of life.
The following is an explanation stanza by stanza:
🌿 Stanza 1: The speaker navigates through a metaphorical maze of life, surrounded by dense woods and whispers of both old and new experiences.
🍂 Stanza 2: Alternating between elation and sorrow, the speaker moves through the bustling cities of thought, exploring the quieter corners of the mind.
🌆 Stanza 3: The beauty of twilight and urban lights inspire the speaker's mind to journey in wonder and contemplative repose.
🌌 Stanza 4: Despite crumbling walls and barriers, whispers of gratitude bloom in the night, offering solace in moments of darkness.
🌙 Stanza 5: The speaker finds solace in invisible streams of dreams, expressing gratitude for the profound light found in the infinite shadows of night.
🛌 Stanza 6: Retreating under covers, the speaker finds comfort in doubt's embrace, seeking restful sleep and solace in childhood rhymes.
🌊 Stanza 7: Carried by currents of doubt, illuminated by the soft gleam of gratitude, doubt and light intertwine in the clear brightness of a new day.