I think it’s a thing that goes both ways - I grew up with a lot of emphasis on right behavior, being kind and patient and so forth. So I learned how to look kind, how to give the appearance of kindness, but it was all performance because my heart wasn’t kind. I wasn’t seeing true kindness from the heart being modeled. So it’s only as I’ve prayed and experienced the kindness of God, both through His own direct presence in my heart and through seeing other people around me being kind that I’ve begun to have a heart change toward kindness myself. Same thing with patience, gentleness, etc. - it’s only as my heart has changed by seeking God that I’ve begun to see those behaviors in my own life that aren’t just my will making me look like those things are happening.
I agree, Lori, and I think you nicely describe how the vertical and the horizontal disciplines work together. The other thing I'm leaving out here is how the Holy Spirit is involved.
To your observation, one of the things I regularly say to churches is this: "You go as far as your joy will take you." When joy dries up that's the sign that you have to stop and step back to receive anew the kindness of God.
Sort of reminds me of a quote from Evan Almighty (disclaimer: I don't typically get my theology from bad movies). "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?"
There's also the idea that the bible was written to a primarily strong group culture. Everything you did revolved not around the self but around your people. From my understanding it seems like the people God has placed around you (i.e. "thy neighbor") is one of the primary means by which God shapes us into Himself. As one of the weakest group cultures in the history, this side of formation is often lost on us in the West. Or in some respects, community is more a commodity to help me become like Jesus. The emphasis is still on the self and not on the group. Formation can become a form of self-actualization (me) rather than a community formation project (us).
I think Lori is right on and Dr. Beck’s response does balance the original post. I don’t see how I could truly be a transformed person exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit without first finding intimacy with God. And the reason is, it’s that relationship that unlocks me from focusing on my own security, my own needs and desires and allows me to focus on others. At least, that’s how I see it working for me. So yes, spiritual disciplines do not make me kind but they help me find intimacy with God which then allows me to become a kind person rather than just acting kind.
I would also say that seeing kindness practiced (or any fruit of the Spirit) and learning it from others is a key way the Spirit has worked on me.
I get what you are saying and its important. I am in a season now of emphasizing the fruit of the Spirit and practically helping others. But there was an incredible sea change as soon as I dropped the intellectual focus of typical evangelicalism and pressed in to intimacy with God. I just had more passion for the Lord, concern for others, more tangible warmth of love others could sense (and I could feel), passion for sharing Jesus with others I'd never had before since my "conversion honeymoon period," could actually sense God's leading in ministry to others. But this didn't come from private spiritual practice only, but from formation with others in ekklesia, which I think is key. So I definitely think intimacy is what drives ministry and the fruit of the Spirit in our lives and protects us from a legalistic mindset of rules or practices following to distance ourselves from God or have false security. I've seen this change in others as well. At the same time, I may not be the best test case, as I had 8 kids with an abusive husband so I had easily put in my 10,000 hours of practicing kindness, patience, forgiveness etc and just needed Spirit motivation to really see other people and minister to them. But yes I am so done with Bible knowledge passion without any concern for others/any attempt to follow Jesus' practical teaching.
Hi Angela, I don't disagree with you. And as I point out in the post, much of my day is structured about practices that are wholly about intimacy with God. I'm not trying to deny the power of that.
Here's another way to approach the issue I'm talking about. You've gone through an incredible sea change that has led you to greater warmth toward others. But I expect, if I asked you, there might still be locations in your life where you might desire more patience or kindness. I think we all, no matter how profoundly we've grown in our spiritual lives, can admit to places where we still struggle with impatience or wish we exhibited more kindness. If so, my interest is paying attention to those particular and specific interpersonal situations with a degree of intentionality that is often missed in discussions of spiritual disciplines (which focus mainly upon fasting, prayer, etc.).
Lastly, from a different angle, I know lots of people who focus on intimacy with God who, well, aren't very patient or kind. I've also seen people engage in what I'd call "contemplative fetishes," where our contemplative pursuits pull us out of the grind of daily, interpersonal life. I know tons of people who love to attend contemplative retreats who remain pretty unchanged in the how they treat others. Thus my mantra in this post: If you want to be kind, then be kind. Directly.
Fair enough and I've seen the same. Which is why I think there is safety in doing these practices in person with equals, mixed with doing them alone, and then working together for practical service to each other and the vulnerable. I mean to agree with you, but add more thoughts and observations.
As someone who has dabbled in the contemporary contemplative/mystic community for about a decade now, I appreciate this point immensely. There is a mythic faith placed by some in practices like centering prayer that it alone will bring us into a loving personhood through bringing us into union with God. And yet the fruit of proof is not there. Thank you for stating this so clearly.
I agree mostly. And Foster's book was VERY formative for me. But how about the vertical disciplines moving you, motivating you, empowering you to act on the horizontal disciplines? I think of John's writings. In John 15, Jesus says we are like branches on a vine. When we stay connected to the vine (vertical), we will bear fruit (horizontal). Also John said in 1 John 4 that our love for others (horizontal) is a result of God's love for us (vertical). Loving others (or being kind or any other horizontal discipline) is more than us disciplining ourselves to do it. It's fruit of the Spirit (which goes back to John 15). I would welcome your thoughts.
I think it’s a thing that goes both ways - I grew up with a lot of emphasis on right behavior, being kind and patient and so forth. So I learned how to look kind, how to give the appearance of kindness, but it was all performance because my heart wasn’t kind. I wasn’t seeing true kindness from the heart being modeled. So it’s only as I’ve prayed and experienced the kindness of God, both through His own direct presence in my heart and through seeing other people around me being kind that I’ve begun to have a heart change toward kindness myself. Same thing with patience, gentleness, etc. - it’s only as my heart has changed by seeking God that I’ve begun to see those behaviors in my own life that aren’t just my will making me look like those things are happening.
I agree, Lori, and I think you nicely describe how the vertical and the horizontal disciplines work together. The other thing I'm leaving out here is how the Holy Spirit is involved.
To your observation, one of the things I regularly say to churches is this: "You go as far as your joy will take you." When joy dries up that's the sign that you have to stop and step back to receive anew the kindness of God.
Sort of reminds me of a quote from Evan Almighty (disclaimer: I don't typically get my theology from bad movies). "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?"
There's also the idea that the bible was written to a primarily strong group culture. Everything you did revolved not around the self but around your people. From my understanding it seems like the people God has placed around you (i.e. "thy neighbor") is one of the primary means by which God shapes us into Himself. As one of the weakest group cultures in the history, this side of formation is often lost on us in the West. Or in some respects, community is more a commodity to help me become like Jesus. The emphasis is still on the self and not on the group. Formation can become a form of self-actualization (me) rather than a community formation project (us).
btw, big fan of this series!
I think Lori is right on and Dr. Beck’s response does balance the original post. I don’t see how I could truly be a transformed person exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit without first finding intimacy with God. And the reason is, it’s that relationship that unlocks me from focusing on my own security, my own needs and desires and allows me to focus on others. At least, that’s how I see it working for me. So yes, spiritual disciplines do not make me kind but they help me find intimacy with God which then allows me to become a kind person rather than just acting kind.
I would also say that seeing kindness practiced (or any fruit of the Spirit) and learning it from others is a key way the Spirit has worked on me.
I get what you are saying and its important. I am in a season now of emphasizing the fruit of the Spirit and practically helping others. But there was an incredible sea change as soon as I dropped the intellectual focus of typical evangelicalism and pressed in to intimacy with God. I just had more passion for the Lord, concern for others, more tangible warmth of love others could sense (and I could feel), passion for sharing Jesus with others I'd never had before since my "conversion honeymoon period," could actually sense God's leading in ministry to others. But this didn't come from private spiritual practice only, but from formation with others in ekklesia, which I think is key. So I definitely think intimacy is what drives ministry and the fruit of the Spirit in our lives and protects us from a legalistic mindset of rules or practices following to distance ourselves from God or have false security. I've seen this change in others as well. At the same time, I may not be the best test case, as I had 8 kids with an abusive husband so I had easily put in my 10,000 hours of practicing kindness, patience, forgiveness etc and just needed Spirit motivation to really see other people and minister to them. But yes I am so done with Bible knowledge passion without any concern for others/any attempt to follow Jesus' practical teaching.
Hi Angela, I don't disagree with you. And as I point out in the post, much of my day is structured about practices that are wholly about intimacy with God. I'm not trying to deny the power of that.
Here's another way to approach the issue I'm talking about. You've gone through an incredible sea change that has led you to greater warmth toward others. But I expect, if I asked you, there might still be locations in your life where you might desire more patience or kindness. I think we all, no matter how profoundly we've grown in our spiritual lives, can admit to places where we still struggle with impatience or wish we exhibited more kindness. If so, my interest is paying attention to those particular and specific interpersonal situations with a degree of intentionality that is often missed in discussions of spiritual disciplines (which focus mainly upon fasting, prayer, etc.).
Lastly, from a different angle, I know lots of people who focus on intimacy with God who, well, aren't very patient or kind. I've also seen people engage in what I'd call "contemplative fetishes," where our contemplative pursuits pull us out of the grind of daily, interpersonal life. I know tons of people who love to attend contemplative retreats who remain pretty unchanged in the how they treat others. Thus my mantra in this post: If you want to be kind, then be kind. Directly.
Fair enough and I've seen the same. Which is why I think there is safety in doing these practices in person with equals, mixed with doing them alone, and then working together for practical service to each other and the vulnerable. I mean to agree with you, but add more thoughts and observations.
I like that!
As someone who has dabbled in the contemporary contemplative/mystic community for about a decade now, I appreciate this point immensely. There is a mythic faith placed by some in practices like centering prayer that it alone will bring us into a loving personhood through bringing us into union with God. And yet the fruit of proof is not there. Thank you for stating this so clearly.
I am greatly enjoying this series. Very thoughtful and useful!
I agree mostly. And Foster's book was VERY formative for me. But how about the vertical disciplines moving you, motivating you, empowering you to act on the horizontal disciplines? I think of John's writings. In John 15, Jesus says we are like branches on a vine. When we stay connected to the vine (vertical), we will bear fruit (horizontal). Also John said in 1 John 4 that our love for others (horizontal) is a result of God's love for us (vertical). Loving others (or being kind or any other horizontal discipline) is more than us disciplining ourselves to do it. It's fruit of the Spirit (which goes back to John 15). I would welcome your thoughts.