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A friend of mine and I were speaking the other day about why it seems in the Christian experience that God is often silent. We were wrestling with the idea of a salvation (or intrusion) of God into our lives, much more like a heroic rescue OUT of our circumstances. I referenced a song by Andrew Peterson, called “The Silence of God” that helps me understand what Jesus experienced in the garden prior to His crucifixion. Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus is our high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses (because of His humanity). https://open.spotify.com/track/6O9Do0IFRumkWmXS3a2Ylg?si=rlYI-jgbSH-wT0ZJEoZKdA

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I like the idea of looking at salvation in the context of God's transcendent nature. But it isn't clear to me in this post what would be wrong with looking at salvation or God as a tool or means to an end. If that is somehow excluded then does that make salvation/faith into an altruistic thing? Is salvation or our relationship with God supposed to be altruistic? Love of God it would seem to me cannot complete eclipse love of self. And if you love yourself I am guessing you don't want to experience "hell" (whatever that is). So then the desire to be saved is not just a desire to know God but also to not know "hell". I just don't see how anyone can purely "pursue God for God's own sake".

Also, at the end of the post you quote Williams who says something about a "vanquished and tourtured man". Is this an allusion to Jesus saying "I am he?" in John 8:58? If it is then I would like to point out that Jesus is just claiming to be the Christ. Jesus says Ego Eimi throughout the book of John and Chapter 8. It seems silly to me to suddenly make this one particular use of ego eimi into Jesus making some reference to Exodus.

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When I sometimes worry about things, about the future, about my failures, about my family each of whom I love so much, about my absolute inability to provide for them and protect them perfectly, about my own soon doom, like I did just this morning upon wakening from a sleep disturbed by absurd dreams, I soothe myself thinking that if the worst calamity befalls me and all of us, and we wind up crucified in some fashion or other . . . so long as Christ be with me and us, then we need nothing more.

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